Monday, July 18, 2011

Bass Players Who Deliver Pizza

DISLIKE. Source:
I like playing the bass. I also like pizza. Now imagine the excitement of playing bass AND delivering pizza, like Ben Silverman (Mick Hargreaves & The King Guys) and Brian Reilly (Butchers Blind) do. We had a chat.

Please respond to the statement that applies to you:

a) Thanks for bringing pizza to rehearsal! By the way, you're late.

b) Why didn't you bring pizza to rehearsal? By the way, you're late.

BEN: Yeah…the owners have been stingy with the free pizza of late.
Bassist Ben Silverman. (Kirill Klimakhin)
MH: What's the fave bass in your arsenal right now?

BEN: Right now I'm playin the Ibanez Artcore. I never thought of it as a particularly good bass, but lately I've been getting a lot of compliments on it.

BRIAN: Well I only have two basses (bassi) - the first is a Mexican Jazz bass the second is a Gretsch jet bass. I'd have to say the jazz bass. I've had it longer, it has more personality, and I've played every memorable gig with it.

MH: What's your amp rig?

BEN: GK head, with a 15 inch speaker in a mesa cabinet.

BRIAN: I play through an Ampeg SVT400-T.

MH: As a bass player who doesn't deliver pizza (yet) but is intrigued, what am I missing out on?

BRIAN: You're missing out on the best job ever! Blasting music in your car and eating free pizza all the f'n time!

BEN: The occasional scantily-clad woman hands you money for services rendered. Also some easy money, time to read, and young girls to leer at. Basically, its a job whose fringe benefits vastly outweigh the actual benefits.

Bassist Brian Reilly (Gonzalo Romero)

MH: How's the pizza - what do you recommend?

BRIAN: I recommend any specialty slice - at my place they change them up every day.

BEN: Francesco's where i work, across from the Whitman Mall (plug) has some badass grandma pizza. Little V's in the H-Ton Village is probably the best post-bar snack ever (cold cheese slice is THE classic Huntington foodstuff).

MH: What's your hoopty-ride pizza delivery vehicle?

BEN: My used Hyundai Santa Fe, in black (duh.)

BRIAN: I've delivered pizza in five cars so far - 1987 Toyota Camry, 1996 Honda Civic, 1990 Buick Skylark, 1990 Oldsmobile 88, and finally, my current car, a 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass. The most practical car was the Honda cause it was stick shift and great on gas. But my favorite has to be the 88 cause it was one of the shittiest cars I've ever seen, yet alone owned. I love my current car but it sucks on gas (Delivery guys pay their own gas so tip well!).

MH: Weirdest pizza delivery story?

BEN: Got a delivery to a house on a high hill: I had to use an intercom to get into a gate at the bottom of the driveway that curled around the hill. When I reached the house, sitting in the driveway was AN F-ING HELICOPTER. The 12 year old son in the family then proceeded to tip me 15$ on 45$ worth of food. 

BRIAN: This story did not take place in current pizzeria I work at but this is probably the weirdest story. One time an old drunk - a regular customer - was hanging around in the store. I was relaxing on a slow day with the old man, some 16 year old kid, and my boss. My boss started taunting the old man about not having hair on his legs. The old man replied, "well I got hair where it counts!" and pulled down his pants in front of of us, exposing his parts to the entire dining room. 

MH: Funniest pizza delivery story?

BRIAN: Again the setting is at my old pizzeria: My boss used to serve Carlo Rossi out of styrofoam cups because he did not have a liquor license. If you have never tried Carlo Rossi it probably is not considered restaurant quality wine, especially out of a styrofoam cup. I frequently had the long, slow, day shift on Sundays and I would get bored often. One of these Sundays I saw a local bum walking down the street so I invited him in and gave him a glass of the Carlo Rossi. I went into the kitchen to fetch him a slice of pizza and when I returned I saw him walking out the door with the styrofoam cup of wine, still full, in the gabage. Not even an alcoholic bum would want to drink that.

BEN: I took a delivery to the Abby Motor Inn, which is seedy at best. The guy who answered the door was a heavily muscled, excessively tattooed, Latino in his underwear. I was a bit startled. I have a quiet speaking voice and anything this guy didn't hear was followed by an off-putting and sharp "HUH?" But before I left he stopped me and asked (and I quote) "You smoke trees my nigga? I got weed in here my nigga."

MH: Saddest pizza delivery story?

BEN: Lonely old people who can barely get to the door in adult diapers, or are on oxygen, or have some other obvious disability and don't have loved ones to help them out. 

BRIAN:  I once gave my standard "how are you?" greeting as I handed a distraught looking man his regular cheese pie to which he replied: "Not great I just buried my mother." Okay then "have a nice day!"

MH: Do you ever deliver pizza with a bass in the vehicle?

BRIAN: Frequently my bass is hanging out in the trunk or laying down in the back seat as I sling pies the day after a gig!

BEN: Only accidentally.

MH: Anyone allowed to ride shotgun on the pizza delivery route? Because, like, I wanna go.

BRIAN: You are absolutely allowed to ride shotgun as I do my route, however, you must not eat any pizza and you have to read me the addresses.

BEN: Totally. As long as the owners aren't there. You just gotta buy beer, and be willing to deal with the smell of cigarettes and tomato sauce.

MH: What happens if you get pulled over by the cops while delivering pizza? Does a slice count as a bribe?

BRIAN: I've been pulled over for an illegal u-turn and the cop let me go after I told him I deliver pizza because "I [the cop] don't ticket pizza guys."

BEN: No Comment. In an unrelated note: Special shout out to Officer Magee!

MH: Do you deliver beer?

BRIAN: I am not allowed to deliver beer for the new pizzeria I work at; as for the old one, however, I have taken many six packs and cigarettes to their respective destinations along with regular orders.

BEN: Unfortunately, No. Write your congressman about that one.


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